The Pirates of Doom!

ITommyProclamation1 was eager to find my team. It was my first year in the ten-and-under league, and by some miracle, my two best friends, Hector Adélia and Tommy Kasten, were on my team. They were both excellent players. And my mom said that our coach, Mr. Carmody, had been a college soccer coach, so I figured he knew everything.

The Pirates were going to rule the soccer season. We would score a million goals.

Or at least fifty.

“This year is going to be awesome!” Tommy said. “Can you believe we’re on the same team?”

“The Pirates,” Hector said.

“More like the Proud Pirates!” Tommy said.

“The Proud Punishing Pirates,” I said.

“The three of us together,” Tommy said solemnly, raising his hand, “will be known as the Pirates of Doom. Arrrrrr!”

Charlie Bumpers vs. the Puny Pirates available everywhere September 1, 2016

My part


I’m not the Evil Sorcerer Kragon.

I’m not the Slimy Snake of the Swamp.

I’m not the fox or one of the mice or even the Magical Rabbit of Gorlandia.

I’m the Nice Gnome. The really nice gnome. The really, really boring gnome.

There has got to be a way to convince Mrs. Burke that it would be better if I wasn’t the gnome. I just have to figure out how.